Use the Brain to Stop Temper Tantrums!
Let’s be real. Dealing with a tantrum in the middle of the grocery is never easy. Remember the last time your child had a temper tantrum. Was your stress level high? Did you feel helpless?
Most parents I talk to agree that these anger explosions happen mainly when a child is told “NO.” So, what’s a parent to do? I’ve found that adults respond out of anger and guilt. Parents also, struggle to manage the voice of guilt which makes them feel like a “failure” and helpless.
Here are five brain-based tools that my clients have used to stop temper tantrums fast!
Emotion Regulation-It’s important for kids to know that they are in control of their feelings and emotions. They must also understand that they have the power to make choices on how they will respond to frustration, disappoints, etc.
Help Child Know Their Triggers-Parenting always offers opportunities to teach your child on different levels. Many parents don’t realize the benefits of understanding how the brain impacts behavior. Parents who can teach their child how to recognize his or her amygdala-based threats and respond appropriately, will help move their child to a higher level of thinking and responding to threats.
Model Expected Behavior-Were you aware that children do what you do and not what you say? One of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is being a positive role model. For example, if you want your child to treat others with respect, you must model the same behavior.
When I go to your house, first thing I would be looking for is your bookshelf. Yes, for it speaks volume about you.
People hoarding books have favorable human relating than those who don’t have any. Yes, for books teach us a lot of things.
Get a story book and see how people behave in the story. Their goal to reach the top rung of the ladder, say career, business, etc. they could be in constant battle with their inner demons. Yes, either pride, envy, jealousy, or so on could be a bitter truth about themselves. Learning how they face these and overcome is something that can be done also when we feel the same travail. We need to be good, kind and fair and just so as to be called well-adjusted individuals. For, living with other people around, we have to be easy to be with, know our boundaries and willing to learn a thing or two about relating. And, book reading is one sure way to get ourselves the needed skills in dealing with different people around. Vicarious learning is key. When you read book character being the butt of jokes, or maligned or what, you tend to get empathized. You know that it is not a a good thing to do such or receive such treatment. Thanks, to books I have read!
When I made a survey with my students, only few of them have reading materials at home. They don’t have any books aside from textbooks given by the school for them to read for the school year. This is so alarming, considering the importance of book reading to a kid so as to develop his/her comprehension skills, fluency and vocabulary, but more so on his/her appreciation of human dynamics where people have different personalities, beliefs and all, thus having different action-reactions to a given issue, etc.
Young minds must be developed into well-rounded persons later. They must have absorbed wisdom from great literature around and be more sympathetic and with empathy to all, especially those beyond their close contact. Challenges with biases, hatred with some people –though irrational and all, still persist because of lack of the habit of reading books and learning the dynamics of positive social interactions.
Those who are wide and wild readers, if you notice, they are silent and more easy to be with, they could get one’s uniqueness sans bias and prejudice and all. That’s the essence of reading books where we become more understanding, supportive and what-not to people around.
However, there are always exception to the rule: some of us, have this tenacity to be audaciously prejudiced a person. Even, so-called educated ones. Yes, true education is seen on how you deal with people beyond your close contact, the way you treat them is your own brand of social adjustment: treat people well to show your learned behavior gotten from varied readings, experiences and the like.
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